Leaving the nest

Leonardo is leaving the nest. Well, not really, because he’s been independant for the last 10 years, but he’s leaving France with a one-way ticket to Australia in two days’ time. What can I say? I did it myself in the other direction! I left Townsville, dry-eyed, brimming over with ill-concealed excitement, with absolutely no intention of going back. I was just a bit younger, that’s all. Twenty-two. Leonardo’s about to turn 30 and this was totally unexpected because he hasn’t been to Australia for 15 years. He simply announced one night in February, after our Wednesday family dinner, that while in the shower he had suddenly decided he would go and live in Australia. It took a few months to get a new citizenship certificate because the original one had disappeared. Then he bought his ticket. Every time it crossed my mind, I chased it away but when it finally sank in, I cried for a week. At the end I was absolutely exhausted! Not to mention the added wrinkles. Then Leonardo, who’s an IT expert, helped me set up this blog. Now I feel I can face the world again.

The interesting part is how people reacted during my tearful week. “You have to know how to let your kids go. It’s their life, not yours.” (Yeah, I’ve read Kahil Gibran too). “You’ll see. He’ll be back after a year”. (Oh yes? Is that what I did?). “Don’t worry, you’ve got Black Cat. (Yes, well, that’s debatable as well. Three months after I left home, my 19-year old brother packed his bags and went touring with his theatre troup.  It didn’t take long for the 16-year old to say “Well, I’m not staying around here by myself!”. My poor mother.)  “You know, today, there’s all sorts of technology. I have a friend who talks to her son in Mexico via the Internet.” (God, I was already skyping Black Cat when she went to Australia for a year as an exchange student 5 years ago. I had no problem about her leaving. I KNEW SHE WAS COMING BACK.) “It’ll give you an excuse to visit him in Australia.” (She doesn’t know you have to spend 20 hours in a plane to go to Australia? She doesn’t know the price of the fares?). “My children have moved out. You mustn’t hold your kids back.” (Who says I’m holding them back?) “So”, I asked, “and where are children living now?” “Oh, one of them has gone to Le Mans” (200 K away) “and the other one’s found a place down the street.” (And she thinks that’s the same as going to Australia? Gimme a break).

When I told my over-80 aunts in Australia, Globetrotter and Artist, how upset I was, Globetrotter, widowed mother of 5 offspring living in Darwin, Freemantle, Sydney and Melbourne (she lives in Armidale), said philosophically, “Well, that’s what happens you know. They all go their own way”, while Artist, mother of 3 sons who all live, as she does, in coastal New South Wales, replied “It must be terrible for you. I’m not surprised you’re crying.”

Maple Leaf and Kiwi, also expats with small children, totally understood my reaction. “I have a bad feeling I will be saying this in 15 years… I feel sad just thinking about it so I can imagine how you must feel.” “Like Maple Leaf, my heart goes out to you and I too wonder if I’ll be feeling the same thing in 15-20 years’ time.”

But the comment I liked best was Redfern’s. I posted on Facebook that Leonardo was leaving, adding “I can only wish him luck and hope he finds what he is looking for, even though my mother’s heart is heavy.” Redfern answered, “That’s just so sweet Fraussie, what a great Mum. When my brother first left Perth for Sydney my mother threatened to kill me if I ever dared mention leaving home!” Now that’s the sort of comment I like!

 

Beret and baguette

It’s surprising how one’s tastes change over the years. When I first arrived in France, just out of uni, I fell immediately in love with baguette – the lovely white squidgy sort. I even remember the price at the time (1975!): 90 centimes. Francs, that is.  Today it’s 90 cents. Euros, this time. You know, I just put that into an inflation calculator on the web and it comes out at +347%. Kind of frightening, isn’t it?  Anyway, I soon learned there were different types of baguette, such as “moulé” and “non moulé“, depending on whether they cook it in a tin (moule) or not. I never liked the thing they call “un pain” which is a larger, shorter, often burnt and most unappetizing loaf that people seem to prefer when it’s stale. You can’t keep a baguette for more than a day, mind you, even for toasting. By next day, it’s rock hard or if you put it in a bread bin, it’s rubbery.

Once you’ve decided whether you want it to be “moulé” or not, you can choose how long it’s been in the oven: “bien cuit“, “cuit” or “pas trop cuit” according to how squidgy you want it. A lot of the bakeries confuse “bien cuit” with “burnt” and “pas trop cuit” with undercooked. You can actually have a baguette that is well cooked inside and normal colour on the outside. However, being an Anglosaxon, they won’t let me argue with them and I have often left the bakery at boiling point because they refused to give me what I wanted. My better half, Relationnel, prefers his “bien cuit” while I only like the “pas trop cuit” variety.

I did give vent to my anger once and couldn’t show my face in the bakery again, I was so embarrassed. There were a lot of people there too that day because we had been waiting for the next batch of bread to finish baking. It was a big pity because they used to sell my favourite baguette and after that, I always had to get Relationnel to buy it instead. I learnt to say “bien blanche” in other bakeries which seemed to help.

When my kids were small and I was going through my “bio” period, I started buying a multi-grain loaf from the health food shop and we kept baguette for a Sunday treat. Most of the time the “bio” loaf was the right colour but sometimes the baker would forget to take it out of the oven in time and it took on a darker burnt siena hue. I was always amazed that they would sell it anyway. The organic bakery eventually closed (maybe it got burnt down in the end!)  and I had to find a substitute.

Around that time, bakeries in general began making all sorts of different breads and you could get a decent loaf of multi-grain in most bakeries in Paris. But when we went away on holidays, we’d have to go for miles to find bread we liked. Alongside the squidgy baguette, you would now see the “baguette tradition“, made with unbleached flour and a lot more expensive than the normal baguette whose price is regulated. No doubt a subtle way of increasing prices … But we eventually moved over to the tradition which is really much tastier and never squidgy. But I’m not into squidgy any more.

Home-baked bread

After we moved from the suburbs into the centre of Paris, I had to look for another bakery. We tried “Chez Julien” and “Gosselin” on rue Saint Honoré, reputed to have supplied the presidential palace at one time. Julien doesn’t open on Sundays, which is a bit of a pain, because that’s our oyster day and you have to have good bread with oysters. Gosselin has inconsistent quality, in my opinion, and is always full of people. There was one vendor that would systematically give me the opposite of what I asked for. When I lived in the suburbs no one took me for a tourist but now that I live in the 1st arrondissement, I often get spoken to in pidgin English and given bad service. Even though my French is probably better than theirs most of the time!

I started to eat less and less bread, which probably wasn’t a bad thing, just keeping it for the oysters on Sunday. Then we spent Christmas in a gîte in Normandy and the lovely owners, who live nearby, offered to lend me their bread-making machine. Relationnel had refused all endeavours on my part to possess one on the pretext that it would take up too much room.  But Valérie kindly gave us flour and yeast as well and I made batch after batch. Everybody loved it, so when we got home I started checking out the consumer magazines to buy my own machine.

Valérie had said hers was a cheap one and had a few drawbacks so I finally settled on a more sophisticated Kenwood mainly because you could make smaller loaves. I was a bit worried about the long-term effects of all this delicious bread. The first batch was a diasaster. Completely flat. This went on for a while, gradual improvements alternating with total flops. One of the main reasons is that Kenwood is American and all the recipes are based on American flour which it turns out is not the same as the flour you buy in France.

Then one day, when we were coming home from holidays in the south, we stayed overnight in a chambre d’hôte in Georges Sand country. The hostess told us about a wonderful pumpkin fair next day in a place called Panzoult. I’ve never seen anything like it. The winning pumpkin, grown on a pallet so it could be taken to the fair, weighed 600 kilos. There were all sorts of pumpkins and squashes – even a butternut or two – and a local miller selling flour. I told him about my bread-baking problems and he sold me some multi-grain flour and dried yeast. Imagine my surprise when I saw the kangaroo on the packet! He said it was the best yeast in the world and that they imported it from Australia! Ah ha!

Immediate success. Every loaf was perfect.Then the flour ran out. I rang the bakery but it isn’t open on weekends and it’s a bit far to go during the week. I know a 3-hour drive isn’t much for Australians but you have to remember that the traffic in and out of Paris can turn an ostensibly short trip into a nightmare. So I kept trying out other types of flour and cut down drastically on my bread intake.

Another trip away – you may have guessed by now that we go away a lot – took us to a chambre d’hôte in Briare near the famous canal bridge built by Eiffel, but that’s another story. At breakfast, I congratulated the hostess on the lovely bread. Home-made. And would you believe where she goes to buy her flour? No, not Panzoult. But to the supermarket next to our gîte in Normandy when she goes to visit her family. She says she makes perfect bread every time.

I looked up the supermarket chain on the web and discovered that all their stores are in the west of France, the closest being an hour and a half away so I emailed them to see whether the flour mill might be closer. No such luck so we went to the closest one on the list. It was in a very dicey, most unlikely looking housing estate, but they had the flour. I bought up as much as I could considering the sell-by date.

Ever since, I have been making perfect bread twice a week. Relationnel still prefers “baguette tradition” with his oysters on Sunday but he buys it himself at the market and I no longer have to put up with people not giving me what I want!

From tropical Queensland to Parisian winter

I hate it when the leaves fall off the trees and the temperatures go down and the days grow shorter. I’m not made for the Parisian winter. I was born and bred in the tropics.

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to having to wear shoes every day for months on end instead of going barefoot. And I can remember knitting and wearing my first pair of gloves when I was at uni in North Queensland. It certainly wasn’t cold enough for the thick pullover I knitted to go with them. Or even for the gloves for that matter. It’s so funny when I go back there during the winter and everybody complains that it’s “freezing”. But it’s really only because they leave the windows open all the time, even when it’s 10°C outside. Not that it oftens gets that cold. So I suggest, “how about you close the windows?” “Close the windows? We’ll suffocate! You have to have fresh air mate!” You can’t close a lot of the windows anyway. Most of them seem to be stuck open.

Now, that’s not what happens in Paris, I can tell you. I have to make this big effort during winter to open the windows for a quarter of an hour every day to let the fresh air in. But to do so, you have to turn the heating off because otherwise the thermostat goes crazy trying to increase the temperature to make up for the genuinely freezing air that pours in. If I forget to do it after I first get up, I have to find a strategic moment during the day when I don’t mind being cold for an hour afterwards. That is one of the reasons why I don’t like winter.

The next one is having to get up when it’s still pitch black outside. It means having the light on half the day because not only does it get light late, forcing you to stay in bed in the morning, but it gets dark again by 5 o’clock. You read about these people who get depressed if you don’t have enough light. Well, I think I’m one of them. I don’t ever remember getting up in the dark at home in Townsville and I certainly didn’t come home from school in the dark. I used to feel so sorry for my kids when they were at school here.

But the worst is having to get dressed and undressed every time you set foot outside. You have to put on  your socks and boots and a jumper or a jacket, then a coat and a scarf and a hat and your rabbit-lined gloves because they’re the only ones that stop your fingers going numb with the cold. I was so pleased when I found my first pair. They are soft and silky and WARM.  Of course, there is no way you can keep them for more than a couple of winters. One inevitably escapes when you’re on the metro or in a restaurant or even sometimes in the street because you can’t use an iPhone with gloves on. Well, I can’t anyway. And then the only shops that sell them in Paris must have millionnaires for customers. But I finally found an Italian website that keeps me stocked.

I have Australian friends that actually LIKE coming here in the winter. They say it’s “welcome relief from the heat”. I do not understand them.

It’s amazing how you can’t even remember what being hot is like in the dead of winter.

from the Tropics to the City of Light