Uh oh. My guess is you will have low level niggling forever now. Luckily I reckon JM will be brilliant at dealing with people like this if it comes to a head, but I don’t suppose he wants to be cast in that role. If you are lucky the poultry will be viewed as a lovely rural addition by your guests. The smell and flies rather than the noise is the worry (unless they have a rooster as well). I loved the bit about walking around in her nightie! How much time does she think people spend up in the attic of an unrestored barn for the chance of perving at her?
Stand firm, don’t let them get away with anything and accept that they are completely irrational so you will have to have some conflict. Think of it as engaging in a traditional French passtime — I think that’s how many French people see neighbour disputes anyway 🙂
Leave a note on their car politely saying that you are pleased they are happy with the new parking arrangements and naturally it will be their turn to clear the area next time, and for them to let you know when they want to do it, and that you appreciate their wanting to help with improving the neighbourhood, etc.
I’d be tempted to install movement sensor lights that ‘accidentally’ fall on their property. You could explain that it is so you can see Madame in her nightie all the better. Sadly you need to control that urge though…
The husband didn’t actually have a conversation with JM, just walked round in circles on his side of the fence yelling his head off.
I think the parking thing will eventually sort itself out because I’m pretty sure he had the automatic gate put in so that he doesn’t have to get out of his car. Parking it outside his gate means he has to walk quite a distance to his front door. I think we might just ignore it and see what happens.
The future of our gĂ®te is somewhat compromised though. I’m just hoping that in the end, the kids or the mother get sick of having to look after them.
Oh dear, oh dear. I find this is a regular problem in France and I’m so sorry that it has found you. We have a horrid situation with our neighbor has well – I won’t go into details but suffice it to say that he is un “caracteriel” also. Honestly, I wouldn’t try to go and talk to him or apologize – I don’t really think that is “received” here. My French friends have told me that it is considered manipulative. I would just be cold back and go about your business – there is only one way to deal with bullies! Bon chance!
Rosemary Kneipp
October 24th, 2013 at 8:35 pm
No, JM certainly doesn’t think apologising would do any good. It’s interesting about the French considering it to be manipulative. I’ll bear that in mind!
Oh, Pat, I rewrote the scenario half the night! The trouble is I was brought up to be excessively honest (my father was a judge) and I need preparation to be able to lie particularly with someone yelling at me!
I thought I’d have a neighbours’ party next year rather than invite them over. I seriously don’t think it would go over well otherwise.
Unfortunately I think we’re going to have a rooster as well.
Gee, I wouldn’t mind the frogs even though I’m personally scared of them. In my home town in Australia, there are bullfrogs everywhere that make an incredible racket just before it rains. I do wonder what the police could have done about it!
No, we won’t let it escalate. We’re certainly not retaliating. Until we see that he’s stopped taking our parking space, we’ll just park both the cars in the other one (or one in the garage).
In general I try to avoid conflict even when I am ‘in the right’. In your case I would go out of my way to be charming – at least for a while, until I was sure that war has well and truly been declared. After that I guess I would maintain a cool politeness and always try to maintain the ‘higher ground’. You can’t control their actions and reactions but you can control your own.
However, there comes a time when you have to show that you won’t be messed around!!
Rosemary Kneipp
October 24th, 2013 at 8:41 pm
I was actually very polite and apologetic to the woman and she seemed to be accepting that. I was a bit stunned when her husand then started yelling at Jean Michel without actually even looking at him and I was very upset about the parking because of what it represented.
Fleur
October 24th, 2013 at 8:27 pm
You know the saying, keep your friends close & your enemies even closer. May I suggest inviting your silly neighbours over for a few drinks, & keep topping up their glasses (but keep clear headed yourself ) & give a gift from you to their children, most people feel kindly towards people you are kind to their kids. They sound like rather anxious neighbours, good luck 🙂
Rosemary Kneipp
October 24th, 2013 at 8:43 pm
Hello Fleur, thank you commenting. That is probably what I would do in Australia or NZ, but I’m not sure how it would work here, particularly as I think they probably don’t drink alcohol for ethnic reasons. I’m just hoping it will all fizz out with time but I’m a little depressed about having the poultry yard around for a while.
Oh dear, this doesn’t bode well, does it? I assume you didn’t know they were like that when you bought the property? I didn’t realise they were so close to you. Having kept chickens myself, I too think they’ll be a bonus. You could be ‘everso friendly’ and ask if they’ll be selling the eggs (guests will like it if you have free range eggs available). It might just break the ice. Thinking of you… xx
Rosemary Kneipp
October 25th, 2013 at 10:19 am
Thanks, Jane. We had no idea they were like that, but we would have bought it anyway, I have to say! Our next door neighbours in Australia always had chickens which never bothered us. It’s more the geese that I’m worried about and the fact that it’s reall right on the doorsteps of the future gĂ®te. I’ll definitely be polite and friendly even though the husband told Jean Michel not to talk to him ever again!
Hi, rosemary, sounds like a sticky situation. You may want to make up with the meighbors before you starting running yours gite. They can make it difficult for your guests. Normally, the “locals” (those who had been at the place longer than the new comer) dont like too much the gite guests/tourists. Bon courage!
Rosemary Kneipp
October 25th, 2013 at 9:50 pm
Hi Angela, unfortunately we don’t know what’s going to happen to our gite project because we can hardly provide luxury accommodation next to a farmyard with geese, roosters and chickens. And I fear there is nothing we can do about these neighbors who have a whole ethnic community to support them while we’re newcomers to te area. Even had I not upset them they would never remove their enclosure.
We’re currently pondering the situation.
Hi, rosemary, btw, from my extensive experience as gite guest, I check out the morning if woken up by noises (animal or human or machine), as the whole idea of going all the way to the countryside is to be able to sleep in. Most B&B places offers breakfast up to 11am for that reason. Again, bon courage!
[…] very encouraged by all the sympathetic comments on the post I wrote a couple of weeks ago called War declared by next-door neighbours. Thank you for your support. I have to confess that I have been depressed ever since because it […]
Will
January 16th, 2014 at 4:48 pm
Maybe it’s time to start putting out food for the local foxes.
Rosemary Kneipp
January 20th, 2014 at 12:18 pm
I thought of that but they lock them away at night!
It’s been a few months now, how is the neighbour war going?
Rosemary Kneipp
February 27th, 2014 at 8:36 pm
We think they’ve moved! They appeared to have packed up everything about 10 days ago. We’re hoping it wasn’t a false alert and they’ve just gone on holidays … but they took the chickens with them.
[…] through our neighbour Alain. Jean Michel cooked one of the ducks last night for dinner with our next-door neighbours (the ones that bought the house with the poultry yard) using a recipe called the Arabian nights […]
[…] first thing we saw as we got home was that our new neighbours had moved in. The moment of truth! Chicken yard or not chicken yard ? I went into our vegetable garden pretending to be checking out the sorrel (it being the only […]
Pamela
April 27th, 2017 at 2:29 am
Hi Rosemary
The pics from your latest post on eggs and language led me back here. Now I’m wondering what happened in the end? Did the neighbours move away? Hopefully!
Best wishes, Pamela
Rosemary Kneipp
April 28th, 2017 at 1:45 pm
Hi Pamela, they actually moved away shortly afterwards. The first thing we asked the new neighbours was “are you going to have a poultry yard”. No, but they have now have the two most annoying dogs imaginable. Much worse than the chickens I can tell you! They have a little one that barks every time we go near our vegetable garden. Also, we’ve decided not to redo the little house after all. Just goes to show that you never know what life will bring.
Carole K
November 10th, 2020 at 2:20 pm
We are hoping to move back to France, after a too long a stay in UK, and I have been trying to find out how to cope with the neighbours hens and our 4 cats.
Hopefully, as work is needed before we move in, I can meet the neighbours and discuss/ plan as I do not want any upset.
Advice welcome!
Rosemary Kneipp
November 15th, 2020 at 10:56 am
Hi it is always a good thing to try and discuss the matter as soon as you can.
Uh oh. My guess is you will have low level niggling forever now. Luckily I reckon JM will be brilliant at dealing with people like this if it comes to a head, but I don’t suppose he wants to be cast in that role. If you are lucky the poultry will be viewed as a lovely rural addition by your guests. The smell and flies rather than the noise is the worry (unless they have a rooster as well). I loved the bit about walking around in her nightie! How much time does she think people spend up in the attic of an unrestored barn for the chance of perving at her?
Stand firm, don’t let them get away with anything and accept that they are completely irrational so you will have to have some conflict. Think of it as engaging in a traditional French passtime — I think that’s how many French people see neighbour disputes anyway 🙂
Leave a note on their car politely saying that you are pleased they are happy with the new parking arrangements and naturally it will be their turn to clear the area next time, and for them to let you know when they want to do it, and that you appreciate their wanting to help with improving the neighbourhood, etc.
I’d be tempted to install movement sensor lights that ‘accidentally’ fall on their property. You could explain that it is so you can see Madame in her nightie all the better. Sadly you need to control that urge though…
One of the problems is that they are not French. I didn’t want to mention this in order not to appear racist, but I think I would have handled things better had they been French because I would probably have understood them better. I think a rooster is definitely going to be part of the mĂ©nagerie though.
The husband didn’t actually have a conversation with JM, just walked round in circles on his side of the fence yelling his head off.
I think the parking thing will eventually sort itself out because I’m pretty sure he had the automatic gate put in so that he doesn’t have to get out of his car. Parking it outside his gate means he has to walk quite a distance to his front door. I think we might just ignore it and see what happens.
The future of our gĂ®te is somewhat compromised though. I’m just hoping that in the end, the kids or the mother get sick of having to look after them.
I feel a right fool though.
Oh dear, oh dear. I find this is a regular problem in France and I’m so sorry that it has found you. We have a horrid situation with our neighbor has well – I won’t go into details but suffice it to say that he is un “caracteriel” also. Honestly, I wouldn’t try to go and talk to him or apologize – I don’t really think that is “received” here. My French friends have told me that it is considered manipulative. I would just be cold back and go about your business – there is only one way to deal with bullies! Bon chance!
No, JM certainly doesn’t think apologising would do any good. It’s interesting about the French considering it to be manipulative. I’ll bear that in mind!
Oh no, that’s bad… You could have said something along the lines of “oh, they are so cute, I want to send my mum/daughter/friend a picture of them” instead of acting guilty, now they’ll think you had something negative in mind. Why didn’t you tell them the truth, that it was for your blog on ‘la vie Ă la campagne en France’?
Did you invite the neighbours over to meet them when you bought the place? Were you ever friendly with them? When you move in for good, you could invite all the neighbours for an apéritif. Oftentimes, the relationships with the neighbours are better when their start involves apéritif and snacks. 🙂
Another thing that can save you is either a common passion or a common enemy. (Or maybe English lessons for the kids…)
Honestly, don’t worry about the chickens. A chicken coop without a rooster is fine. And if they lock them up at night in the lean-to, you’ll be ok. It is actually a plus for gĂ®te clients from the city. They love it. If there’s a rooster, you’re doomed though. (The goose might be a problem, too.) We had three roosters at some point because my husband was sold rooster chicks for hen chicks and we didn’t want to kill them rightaway. The neighbour called the police. They also called the police because the frogs in our pond were making too much noise. (Hello? The pond and the frogs have been here for 200 years!) I can understand it, really, I can, I hated those stupid frogs just as much as my neighbour did – but seriously? Call the police instead of coming over and asking if we could find an arrangement? A little over the top…
Anyway, I wish you good luck. Don’t let it escalate…
Oh, Pat, I rewrote the scenario half the night! The trouble is I was brought up to be excessively honest (my father was a judge) and I need preparation to be able to lie particularly with someone yelling at me!
I thought I’d have a neighbours’ party next year rather than invite them over. I seriously don’t think it would go over well otherwise.
Unfortunately I think we’re going to have a rooster as well.
Gee, I wouldn’t mind the frogs even though I’m personally scared of them. In my home town in Australia, there are bullfrogs everywhere that make an incredible racket just before it rains. I do wonder what the police could have done about it!
No, we won’t let it escalate. We’re certainly not retaliating. Until we see that he’s stopped taking our parking space, we’ll just park both the cars in the other one (or one in the garage).
In general I try to avoid conflict even when I am ‘in the right’. In your case I would go out of my way to be charming – at least for a while, until I was sure that war has well and truly been declared. After that I guess I would maintain a cool politeness and always try to maintain the ‘higher ground’. You can’t control their actions and reactions but you can control your own.
However, there comes a time when you have to show that you won’t be messed around!!
I was actually very polite and apologetic to the woman and she seemed to be accepting that. I was a bit stunned when her husand then started yelling at Jean Michel without actually even looking at him and I was very upset about the parking because of what it represented.
You know the saying, keep your friends close & your enemies even closer. May I suggest inviting your silly neighbours over for a few drinks, & keep topping up their glasses (but keep clear headed yourself ) & give a gift from you to their children, most people feel kindly towards people you are kind to their kids. They sound like rather anxious neighbours, good luck 🙂
Hello Fleur, thank you commenting. That is probably what I would do in Australia or NZ, but I’m not sure how it would work here, particularly as I think they probably don’t drink alcohol for ethnic reasons. I’m just hoping it will all fizz out with time but I’m a little depressed about having the poultry yard around for a while.
Oh dear…neighbour wars are a drag! Good luck! X
Thanks, Jill, I’m just going to hope things improve with time.
Oh dear, this doesn’t bode well, does it? I assume you didn’t know they were like that when you bought the property? I didn’t realise they were so close to you. Having kept chickens myself, I too think they’ll be a bonus. You could be ‘everso friendly’ and ask if they’ll be selling the eggs (guests will like it if you have free range eggs available). It might just break the ice. Thinking of you… xx
Thanks, Jane. We had no idea they were like that, but we would have bought it anyway, I have to say! Our next door neighbours in Australia always had chickens which never bothered us. It’s more the geese that I’m worried about and the fact that it’s reall right on the doorsteps of the future gĂ®te. I’ll definitely be polite and friendly even though the husband told Jean Michel not to talk to him ever again!
Hi, rosemary, sounds like a sticky situation. You may want to make up with the meighbors before you starting running yours gite. They can make it difficult for your guests. Normally, the “locals” (those who had been at the place longer than the new comer) dont like too much the gite guests/tourists. Bon courage!
Hi Angela, unfortunately we don’t know what’s going to happen to our gite project because we can hardly provide luxury accommodation next to a farmyard with geese, roosters and chickens. And I fear there is nothing we can do about these neighbors who have a whole ethnic community to support them while we’re newcomers to te area. Even had I not upset them they would never remove their enclosure.
We’re currently pondering the situation.
Hi, rosemary, btw, from my extensive experience as gite guest, I check out the morning if woken up by noises (animal or human or machine), as the whole idea of going all the way to the countryside is to be able to sleep in. Most B&B places offers breakfast up to 11am for that reason. Again, bon courage!
[…] very encouraged by all the sympathetic comments on the post I wrote a couple of weeks ago called War declared by next-door neighbours. Thank you for your support. I have to confess that I have been depressed ever since because it […]
Maybe it’s time to start putting out food for the local foxes.
I thought of that but they lock them away at night!
It’s been a few months now, how is the neighbour war going?
We think they’ve moved! They appeared to have packed up everything about 10 days ago. We’re hoping it wasn’t a false alert and they’ve just gone on holidays … but they took the chickens with them.
[…] through our neighbour Alain. Jean Michel cooked one of the ducks last night for dinner with our next-door neighbours (the ones that bought the house with the poultry yard) using a recipe called the Arabian nights […]
[…] may remember our poultry yard dilemma that got in the way of our project to renovate our “little house” to make a gĂ®te […]
[…] first thing we saw as we got home was that our new neighbours had moved in. The moment of truth! Chicken yard or not chicken yard ? I went into our vegetable garden pretending to be checking out the sorrel (it being the only […]
Hi Rosemary
The pics from your latest post on eggs and language led me back here. Now I’m wondering what happened in the end? Did the neighbours move away? Hopefully!
Best wishes, Pamela
Hi Pamela, they actually moved away shortly afterwards. The first thing we asked the new neighbours was “are you going to have a poultry yard”. No, but they have now have the two most annoying dogs imaginable. Much worse than the chickens I can tell you! They have a little one that barks every time we go near our vegetable garden. Also, we’ve decided not to redo the little house after all. Just goes to show that you never know what life will bring.
We are hoping to move back to France, after a too long a stay in UK, and I have been trying to find out how to cope with the neighbours hens and our 4 cats.
Hopefully, as work is needed before we move in, I can meet the neighbours and discuss/ plan as I do not want any upset.
Advice welcome!
Hi it is always a good thing to try and discuss the matter as soon as you can.