Category Archives: Family

The Travel Itinerary

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Working out a travel itinerary has become my most time-consuming holiday task. That wasn’t always so.  When I was young and adventurous, I used to set off with a backpack and follow whoever knew when the next bus, train or boat was leaving. Or just stuck out my thumb. It made it very simple. There was always someone else at the other end offering a room and a bath. I usually slept in those shared dorms which even back in those days could be co-ed. I accidentally found myself in one on my first honeymoon, but that was because I didn’t know you had to ask for a letto matrimonial. There were six single beds. Fortunately, we were the only ones there.

An unforgettable trip to Malta (in lieu of Australia because I stupidly thought it would be easier) when Leonardo was four months old put an end to such spontaneous travelling.  Although he was fully breastfeed and theoretically transportable with my trusty baby sling, he was still a hefty little fellow and a light sleeper and I arrived home more exhausted than when I left. Somehow, travelling wasn’t the same any more. The spontaneity no longer seemed appropriate.

And once Black Cat arrived, travelling, except for our 3-yearly trip to Australia, became synonymous with camping.  Not that that was really a piece of cake. The kids loved it, but I spent most of the time getting sand out of the bed, cooking on two gas rings, washing up in a communal kitchen, taking showers with the kids, shopping for food and peeing outside the tent at night in the hope that no late revellers would go past.

My first real holiday since my pre-Malta days came when I took 12-year old Black Cat across France to Heidelberg by car. She was a model companion and we played it by ear. The only slip-up was that I had forgotten to take her passport with me. However, we decided to take the risk and cross the border at some little place whose name I can’t remember. No one came near us. We had a lovely time, having breakfast at the hotel, picnicking at lunchtime and eating out at night. We always seemed to find a hotel without too much trouble. We stayed in Reims, Strasbourg, Metz, the place I can’t remember, Heidelberg and Colmar. And when we’d had enough, we went home.

After I met Relationnel, we used to rent a holiday house for a week or two at a time, usually in Brittany, and take the four kids with us. We always went shopping in the morning by ourselves and finished off with a bowl of cider afterwards. We came home one day and were immediately confronted by the elderly couple next door. They told us that the “older ones” had been attacking poor little Thoughful and they were about to call the police.

Brittany in the summer

Mystified, because the four of them usually got on like a house on fire, we said we’d look into the problem. It turned out that they were all inside, pretending to have a fight with their pillows, screaming as though they were really hurt, Thoughtful louder than any of the others. We had to make them promise to behave themselves while we were out. I hate to think what the neighbours would have said if they’d known we were a blended family !

When Relationnel and I were finally able to go on holidays on our own, we would choose a country, book the first hotel and take off in the car, stopping wherever the mood took us. But as we always travelled in the summer and there weren’t any mobile phones in those days, not to mention the fact that I have become fussy about where I sleep since my backpacking days, it didn’t seem to be such a good idea any more.

Now, we plan everything beforehand. We work out the itinerary together and I book the accommodation. It does take a lot of time, but it certainly makes life much easier once we’re on our way. Now that you can check out the internet, consult Trip Advisor and see what the bloggers have to say, there aren’t too many bad surprises, although it’s amazing how a photograph can be so completely different from reality!

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Flowers to Brighten a Grey Day

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I’ve been receiving all these emails from Australian family and friends positively flaunting their blue skies and high temperatures while we have boring nothing, not even snow or sleet or something even vaguely interesting. The fountain in the Palais Royal is working, to my surprise – they turned it off most of last winter – but looks very down in the mouth. It’s 8°C and cold outside because the air is thick. My wonderful rabbit-lined gloves somehow disappeared in an underground parking lot in Rouen and I can’t order any more from Madova in Italy until 3rd January so I’m wearing my inferior suede Australian ones. At least they’re better than nothing.

But something wonderful has happened to take the grey away. The doorbell just rang and there was man with a beautiful bunch of white roses, lilies-of-the-valley and Geraldton wax all the way from Leonardo in Australia, with a lovely note to go with them. Not only that but one of the orchids he gave me for my birthday has flowered again!

No Boxing Day in France

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Unfortunately, there is no Boxing Day in France. We had to pack up everything in Normandy and leave last night which was very sad. I couldn’t believe how much stuff we’d acquired in just over a week! There were all the Christmas decorations for the tree and crib and table of course plus the holly from the forest and mistletoe from the apple trees. But we also went to two other dépôt vente places and came away with all sorts of wonderful things for the new house in Blois, including a lovely old 5-branch ceiling light that Relationnel managed to drop when putting it into the car for the return journey – fortunately it didn’t shatter and the crack shouldn’t be too noticeable when it’s attached to the ceiling. We didn’t buy the Australian guitar or the aggressive GI!

When we got home to our apartment in Paris,  it all had to be unpacked of course which was complicated by the fact that the bedroom ceiling had been repainted during our absence. A few months ago, large drops of water suddenly started to appear on the ceiling above the bed. Apparently, the gutters on the terrace of the flat above us were blocked up. By the time they were unblocked, the paint was peeling off in large flakes. So all the bedroom furniture was in the lounge and we couldn’t put it back until we got the curtains back from the dry cleaners today.

Gathering holly

To console ourselves, we finished off our home made foie gras that turned out to be the best we’ve made yet (must have been because I dropped the iPhone in it during the process) accompanied by the delicious compote de fruits vieux garçon (bachelor’s fruit compote) we made on Saturday (recipe below – requires expertise in making caramel which I do not have but that fortunately Relationnel does) and the rest of the Pierre Adam Kaefferdopf gewurztraminer 2006. There were even a few slices of pain brioché au miel left to go with it.  Followed by smoked salmon, lychees and Rozan chocolates with our coffee. A nice way to end off Christmas day.

My scales told me this morning that we’ll be eating grilled fish and chicken and steamed vegetables for the rest of the week … in preparation for New Year!

Compote de fruits vieux garçon 
 
Ingredients : 1 apple, 1 pear, 6 dried abricots, 6 prunes, 6 cl of port wine, 80 g of honey. 
 
Peel the apple and pear and cut them into 1 cm squares. Chop the dried fruit into 5 mm pieces and soak in the port wine. The recipe doesn’t say for how long but it was probably about 20 to 30 minutes because I was using the only large saucepan for something else. 
Put the honey in a large saucepan and caramelise. You have to use fairly high heat. Quite suddenly, it all froths up and this is where the expertise comes in. If you cook it too much it burns. The trick is to squeeze in some lemon juice at just the right moment to reduce the heat and stop the caramelising process. I did the squeezing. Relationnel said when. 
Then you add the apple and pear and cook for 3 minutes followed by the dried fruit and port. You let them stew for at least 20 minutes at moderate heat, stirring often to prevent sticking. 
You can keep it for a week in the fridge.

Christmas Tree’s Up!

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When I was a child in Townsville, our Christmas tree was an athel pine. Well, I think it was anyway. You certainly couldn’t buy fir trees or go out and cut them down in the forest as Relationnel and his father did when he was little. After a while, my mother got sick of all the mess from the athel pine and decided, to our great dismay, to buy an awful looking imitation tree. It was also tiny.

So when I had my own children in France, we used to buy a real fir tree until the first year I spent Christmas on my own after my divorce. I had decided not to have a tree that year but felt so miserable on Christmas Eve without my kids or a tree that I went to the local hypermarket and bought a pretend one. These days, they are far more realistic than the one Mum bought. Black Cat and Leonard were not impressed though.

When we started coming to Le Mesnil Jourdain for Christmas, there were no more excuses for not buying the real thing. First, there is always a vendor in Louviers, second, they sell Nordman trees that don’t lose their needles and third, there is plenty of room for a big one. Last year, it snowed so much that we nearly missed out because we were housebound for two days. By the time we got back to Louviers, the vendor had packed up and gone. Fortunately the flower shop in the main street still had some left. This year, it was the first thing we did when we got here. I love the system. First, you choose your tree, then they put it through a Christmas tree packaging machine and it comes out the other end in netting so that it’s easier to transport.

Black Cat is coming this afternoon so we’ll decorate the tree together. The male element (as my father used to say) likes the idea of the tree but are not even remotely interested in decorating it. All our decorations have a story, starting with the oldest, two little Chinese lanterns a friend brought back from Hong Kong when I was in high school and that I kept safely until I had my own tree. Several of the decorations were made by Leonardo who is an origami expert and one by Forge Ahead when he was little. All the others come from our travels.

We try to bring back something for the tree from each place we visit. We began in Rottenburg in Germany after we discovered the wonderful Käthe Wohlfahrt Christmas store. I could have bought the whole shop! The decorations are absolutely fabulous. Our latest acquisitions are a flamenco shoe from Seville, a traditional heart from Croatia, a pendant key ring from Bosnia Herzogovina and a violin from Innsbruck in Austria. We seem to have forgotten about Slovenia! Black Cat also adds to the collection whenever she can. This year she brought us back a lovely hand-painted bauble from Sweden. Friends who know about it contribute as well – we now have a little plaque depicting the French quarter in New Orleans.

My favourites are two baubles from the decorative arts museum next to the Louvre, the one Black Cat brought back from Saint Paul’s in London, the beautiful ruched egg a friend made me, Leonardo’s origami unicorn, Thoughtful’s king on a reindeer and the crib inside a glass bauble.

 

 

 

It’s a good thing we’ve bought a house of our own in Blois – we’ll need a truck to transport everything soon!

Rouen in the Rain

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Le Mesnil Jourdain with Le Logis du Porche & church

One of the sad things about Normandy is that it rains a lot. For the last four years, we’ve had snow at Christmas with particularly heavy falls last year. This year, however, it’s not cold enough so we’ve got rain instead.

This is the fifth Christmas we’ve spent in this lovely mediaeval manor house in Le Mesnil Jourdain. The main buildings form an L-shape. “Our” house, Le Logis du Porche, was built in the 15th century while the owners, Valérie and Marc Jonquez, live in the 16th century wing. Le Logis de la Garenne on the other side of the courtyard was built during the reign of Louis XIII in the 17th century up against a mediaeval motte. That, in case you don’t know, is the artificial mound on which theNormans used to build their keeps. Today it’s home to a herd of goats. There is a beautiful vaulted ceiling on the ground floor.

16C wing

But we prefer the Logis du Porche for its huge brick fireplace, large bay window with its original grille and stone seats where the ladies used to sit with their embroidery and watch the world go by in the courtyard below, its original timbered ceiling and lovely oak panelled door. The stone walls are as thick as the length of your arm and there’s even an arrow slit! That’s on the main floor. Upstairs, one of the bedrooms has a massive low timber door with a peak hole and traces of oil lamps on the walls while one of the others has an enormous fireplace where they used to hang the meat and an original mullion window.

La Garenne

Valérie et Marc have done a wonderful job of restoring and decorating both houses, combining modern comfort with the historical charm and authenticity we love.  It was Le Mesnil Jourdain that inspired us to buy the house in Blois. Our four children usually join us for Christmas, but this year, with Leonardo in Sydney and Forge Ahead in Madagascar, there will only be four of us. We’re waiting until Black Cat arrives to decorate the tree and put up the crib. But more of that in another post.

Joan of Arc's tears

Back to rainy Rouen. One of our pilgrimages is always to Auzou’s in the main street where they sell Joan of Arc’s tears – chocolate-coated almonds! I actually prefer Rozans des Pyrénées, melt-in-the-mouth chocolates that traditionally are only made in the Pyrenees in winter and that you can only usually find at Christmas. You have to keep them in the fridge. But the other members of the family prefer praline chocolates except for Black Cat who has never liked chocolates. When she was growing up in a country of chocolate freaks, she was so embarrassed about it that she used to tell everyone that “my mother won’t let me eat chocolates.”

Rouen cathedral with Christmas market

I like doing our Christmas shopping in Rouen because the historical centre is very attractive with its half-timbered houses and enormous clock tower spanning the main street. The cathedral, made famous by Monet, is always worth a visit as well. We usually have lunch at the art deco Brasserie Paul on one side of the cathedral. It’s in all the guide books so it very popular, but we still enjoy it. At 14 or 15 euros for the main dish, it’s also good value for money. It also sells real cappuccino (as opposed to the usual Norman “all-cream” version if you prefer a mid-morning or mid-afternoon break instead. Maybe next time, it won’t be raining!

Le Mesnil Jourdain
Valérie et Marc JONCQUEZ
5 rue de l’église
27400 LE MESNIL JOURDAIN
v.joncquez@gmail.com
http://www.rent-gite-normandie.com/
 
 
Brasserie Paul
1 place de la Cathédrale
76000 Rouen
http://www.brasserie-paul.com/index.php
 
 
Chocolateire Auzou
163, rue du Gros Horloge
76000 Rouen
France
 

Reflections from a Garret

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First French home in PauThat is the very corny title I gave to the diary that I started on my arrival in France on 1st October 1975. I had a corner room on the 3rd floor of a 4-story building in Pau in the Pyrenees. Hardly a garret but I guess I’d never been higher than the upstairs of our Queensland house on stilts. It also sounded very romantic of course. It cost me 220 francs a month – about 33 euros. Unbelievable isn’t it ? Through the window, I could see “the steeple and spire of St Martin’s Church which is very beautiful”. When I saw the church again last Easter, I was most disappointed!

I’ve lived in a few places since then. After my first year as an “assistant” English teacher in a high school, I had a very short stint working in a disturbed children’s home during which I shared a very cold house with another special needs teacher. Thank goodness it didn’t last long. I was hardly prepared for the job and certainly not trained. Fortunately, I got another year as an “assistant” in Nantes and lived in a teachers’ training college. I had my own room and shared a shower and kitchen with a couple of others girls. Most of the rooms were vacant, but I don’t know why.

After that I moved to Paris with my future husband in 1977 and we rented a two-bedroom flat in Fontenay sous Bois. I can remember having the impression of “playing house”. I’d go down to the market on my moped (which eventually got stolen for the second time) and join the other housewives, trying out new fruit and vegetables. But once I started going to uni on the other side of the city and audiotyping for two translators in between classes, I didn’t feel I was pretending any more! We lived there until 1984 when I was pregnant with Black Cat and working as a freelance translator. Leonardo was 2 ½.

We bought a house just down the road and Black Cat was born there. This time there really was an attic which eventually became my office. It wasn’t a very pretty house, I must admit, but I loved the fact that it had three floors and a long garden with raspberries and a very old acacia tree. The kids had a little wooden cubby house underneath it. There were also three beautiful old rose bushes with the most divine smell and huge thorns which sometimes bothered friends with small children but no one ever pricked themselves. The first year, there were masses of tulips in the garden. We didn’t know that mowing would remove them completely. Now I know better!

When I divorced, I had to sell the house, but I found a ground-floor flat on the edge of Fontenay with a little garden and lots of trees. After we married, Relationnel and I turned the garden into a “mini Giverny” as he called it and had so many barbecues that one of the neighbours eventually complained. I think they were just jealous! We also added enormous sliding glass doors between the living room and garden to make the most of the view. I moved my office to nearby Nogent sur Marne to make room for Thoughtful and Forge Ahead who used to come and stay every second weekend and half the school holidays. Our four children got on like wildfire to our great relief. During the 27 years I lived in Fontenay, I made many friends, all of them French and I often used to drop in and visit them.

The next move was to Paris in 2004. It was a golden opportunity in more ways than one and I can’t fault the location as my windows overlook the Palais Royal gardens, but I miss my own garden and my friends. A lot of my contacts these days are by phone or email. There is no one I can actually drop in to see. And I think I went to more exhibitions and plays when I lived in Fontenay than I do now though when we first came here, we spent a lot of time in the Louvre. I do love exploring my neighbourhood and trying out new restaurants, but I’m not a shopper, to the despair of Black Cat, so having the Galeries Lafayette and Printemps around the corner is not really a bonus. I do like having Book-Off down the road though, because it has a wonderful selection of second-hand English books at one or two euros a time.

Now that we have found our dream house in Blois, I feel I have new wings. I’ll have a garden again and trees and I already have a host of new friends waiting for me whom I can drop in to see from time to time. We can still come to Paris for the day if we want to or stay overnight – it’s only 200 kilometers away.

Black Cat

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“Black cat entre home. Y’a pas happy moi. Moi pleure. Black cat parti. Moi happy.”  A direct quote from Black Cat at the age of 2 ½ when a stray cat came into the house and upset her. And that is typical of the way she used to talk. Growing up in a family where Mum spoke English to her and her brother and to the occasional English-speaking friend but French to her father, she assumed everyone spoke both languages. So I guess she just took the first word that came into her mind or the easiest to pronounce.

I did wonder whether she would ever manage to speak normally. A few months later, when she started maternelle (the French state-run pre-school that begins at about the age of 3), the teachers had me a bit worried. “She’s obviously very clever and knows how to do a lot of things. It’s a pity we can’t understand what she’s saying though”, they told me. As well as mixing up the two languages, she had a few pronunciation problems such as “fwing” for “swing” and “wabbit” for “rabbit”. I had no trouble understanding her of course, but that’s often the case, isn’t it, even if there’s only one language involved.

By the time she was six, she had become much more comprehensible but had practically stopped speaking English even though she could understand everything I said. We went to Brittany on holidays and met an English family with a little girl the same age. They got on marvellously and her English seemed to reappear out of nowhere. When we left, however, I explained to her that if she continued to talk to me in French, she would forget how to speak in English and wouldn’t be able to talk to her little friend the next year. We struck a bargain. Whenever she spoke to me in French, I would pretend I didn’t understand; she would know that I really did understand, but she would then say it in English. It took about three months. Ever since, she has always spoken to me in English.

When she was born, I asked Leonardo, who was three, to speak to her in English, which he did until one day, about three years later, when we were staying in a camping ground. They were playing with some other children and he was obviously embarrassed about being different. He looked her straight in the eye and said, in French, “From now on, we’re always going to speak to each other in French”, and Leonardo being Leonardo, that was the end of that.

They both went to French schools so didn’t learn English officially until they went to high school at the age of 11. Their English was always way ahead of the others but it didn’t necessarily get them good marks.  Both did German as their second foreign language, but it wasn’t their strongest subject either. I think they imagined that languages just came automatically and you didn’t have to actually learn them the way you did with maths and science.

It was not until Black Cat went to Australia on an exchange in her fourth year of uni that she started to sound a bit Australian. We like to call her accent “mid-ocean”.

Leaving the nest

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Leonardo is leaving the nest. Well, not really, because he’s been independant for the last 10 years, but he’s leaving France with a one-way ticket to Australia in two days’ time. What can I say? I did it myself in the other direction! I left Townsville, dry-eyed, brimming over with ill-concealed excitement, with absolutely no intention of going back. I was just a bit younger, that’s all. Twenty-two. Leonardo’s about to turn 30 and this was totally unexpected because he hasn’t been to Australia for 15 years. He simply announced one night in February, after our Wednesday family dinner, that while in the shower he had suddenly decided he would go and live in Australia. It took a few months to get a new citizenship certificate because the original one had disappeared. Then he bought his ticket. Every time it crossed my mind, I chased it away but when it finally sank in, I cried for a week. At the end I was absolutely exhausted! Not to mention the added wrinkles. Then Leonardo, who’s an IT expert, helped me set up this blog. Now I feel I can face the world again.

The interesting part is how people reacted during my tearful week. “You have to know how to let your kids go. It’s their life, not yours.” (Yeah, I’ve read Kahil Gibran too). “You’ll see. He’ll be back after a year”. (Oh yes? Is that what I did?). “Don’t worry, you’ve got Black Cat. (Yes, well, that’s debatable as well. Three months after I left home, my 19-year old brother packed his bags and went touring with his theatre troup.  It didn’t take long for the 16-year old to say “Well, I’m not staying around here by myself!”. My poor mother.)  “You know, today, there’s all sorts of technology. I have a friend who talks to her son in Mexico via the Internet.” (God, I was already skyping Black Cat when she went to Australia for a year as an exchange student 5 years ago. I had no problem about her leaving. I KNEW SHE WAS COMING BACK.) “It’ll give you an excuse to visit him in Australia.” (She doesn’t know you have to spend 20 hours in a plane to go to Australia? She doesn’t know the price of the fares?). “My children have moved out. You mustn’t hold your kids back.” (Who says I’m holding them back?) “So”, I asked, “and where are children living now?” “Oh, one of them has gone to Le Mans” (200 K away) “and the other one’s found a place down the street.” (And she thinks that’s the same as going to Australia? Gimme a break).

When I told my over-80 aunts in Australia, Globetrotter and Artist, how upset I was, Globetrotter, widowed mother of 5 offspring living in Darwin, Freemantle, Sydney and Melbourne (she lives in Armidale), said philosophically, “Well, that’s what happens you know. They all go their own way”, while Artist, mother of 3 sons who all live, as she does, in coastal New South Wales, replied “It must be terrible for you. I’m not surprised you’re crying.”

Maple Leaf and Kiwi, also expats with small children, totally understood my reaction. “I have a bad feeling I will be saying this in 15 years… I feel sad just thinking about it so I can imagine how you must feel.” “Like Maple Leaf, my heart goes out to you and I too wonder if I’ll be feeling the same thing in 15-20 years’ time.”

But the comment I liked best was Redfern’s. I posted on Facebook that Leonardo was leaving, adding “I can only wish him luck and hope he finds what he is looking for, even though my mother’s heart is heavy.” Redfern answered, “That’s just so sweet Fraussie, what a great Mum. When my brother first left Perth for Sydney my mother threatened to kill me if I ever dared mention leaving home!” Now that’s the sort of comment I like!

 

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